TL;DR – That’s NOT how you find love.
2017 just ended. 2018 just begun. For some, it would have been great to end the year finding someone you can connect with. And it would be an even greater start to 2018 if that person turns out to be your soul mate, someone you enjoy hanging out with, someone whom you want to develop a deeper relationship with. To do that, some people turn to Tinder. Unfortunately, it can be quite a gamble when meeting someone on Tinder. Sometimes it goes well. Sometimes… you get this:
Ms Melody Yap showed a series of up to 30 screenshots. Long story short, Ms Yap’s friend was matched with a man, Wenhui, on Tinder. Ms Yap’s friend and the man went for on a lunch date on 30 Dec. But Ms Yap’s friend didn’t want to take the relationship with Wenhui further. She rejected him civilly on WhatsApp. That’s when things escalated rather quickly.
He started calling her self-entitled, a coward, and having a shameful and guilty conscience. This is even though Ms Yap’s friend apparently didn’t do anything to be shameful about. Wenhui didn’t stop there. He went on to insult the parents of Ms Yap’s friend saying:
“Your mother is pig sow who rolls in the mud and your father is an imbecile picked and collected from the streets.”
Then his insults became supernatural:
“Heaven is watching and you and your entire family will face karma in the coming year. Even if you do find someone and get married in the future your own kids will be plagued by illnesses and diseases.”
Wenhui even threatened find her workplace to lodge a complaint, and to even lodge a police report against her. But what crime did Ms Yap’s friend commit? We don’t know. What we know is that it’s highly ironic. Because what Wenhui did is bordering on harassment.
That sure sound like harassment
And we have the Protection from Harassment Act (PHA), which specifically criminalizes harassment, stalking, and other anti-social behaviour. The law is designed specifically to make acts of cyberbullying and online harassment a criminal offence. Gee. That sounds like what Wenhui is doing to Ms Yap’s friend. Which is why Ms Yap’s friend has made a police report against Wenhui, with their Whatsapp conversation submitted as an evidence of harassment.
The police aren’t taking any action yet. We aren’t sure why. Because Ms Yap’s friend isn’t the only victim. After seeing what Ms Yap shared, many other girls came forward to and called him out, each sharing their experiences with him. They were mostly similar: that he couldn’t handle the rejection & started insulting and threatening women.
Which no one needs to suffer from
In response to the experiences that her friend and other girls had with Wenhui, Ms Yap had this to say:
“I want all of you—men & women alike—to know that no one needs to cower to such bullying. To all the women & girls out there, we live in a world with equality. We are in no way less superior just because we are born females.
Men may view women as sexual objects but we have our pride & we deserve respect no less as a person. Not all men are like that, though. Believe that there are good men out there & if one man doesn’t appreciate you, move on. Do not settle.
Do not let men insult & degrade you the way Wenhui did to all these poor girls. We are NOT supposed to feel low nor are we commodities for men to discuss, play with & rid of. We have to protect ourselves & be strong. Stand up & speak up against such douchebags. Do not suffer in silence.”
Indeed, if you are being abused in anyway speak up. Don’t suffer in silence. And if you know anyone who’s being abused, whether male or female, in whatever context, speak up for them. Don’t let them suffer in silence. Your actions may prevent a tragedy.
(Cover image via)