How to get away with cheating

By December 29, 2017Current, Entertainment

TL;DR – Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Inspired by the biggest story to end 2017 as well as Melania Trump’s favorite TV show, How to Get Away with Murder, comes a motionless picture that might never hit the small screen – How to get away with cheating.

(You do not need to be part of the special forces to learn this.)

Here are 5 simple steps:

Text another girl while your girlfriend is asleep

This is the best time to do it because she is asleep and she will never know. If she doesn’t sleep much, just keep going to toilet and text. Just tell her you are full of sh*t and therefore need to keep taking dumps. Fail proof, bro.

Use Tinder to find other girls

You will not know if the new girl and your current girlfriend (number 1,2, or 3) know each other if you pick them up at the club right? So the best thing to do is to use Tinder because they will always show you the common friends, all you have to do is make sure you do not swipe those with common friends. And also if your girlfriend believes that she is attached to you, it wouldn’t make sense that she is on Tinder as well. Hence she won’t discover your account, right? To play it safe, simply use a different name and when other people notify your girlfriend, just say that that is a fake account, or you got hacked. I mean if some highly sensitive e-mails that went missing can be explained that way, everything is possible.

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Don’t ever use your credit card to pay for anything

Don’t leave any trace of who you ate with or where you were, that is the rule of thumb. So even better, do not even pay for anything, just make the girl pay and tell her you will pay her back another time, or pay in kind.

Because girls will tell things to other girls

The problem with girls is that they always have this locker room (or rather, bathroom) talk where they share everything intimate. I’ve heard stories that they even compare boyfriend’s cough  shoe size. So the best solution for this is to date a guy instead, because of the bro-code. You will never get stabbed in the back (pun unintended). YOU ARE SAFE! (As long as you don’t upload pictures onto the Internet)

Don’t Cheat

You can’t miss the shots you don’t take on a basketball court, you can’t fail the exam you don’t take, so you can never get caught for cheating if you don’t, RIGHT?

 

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Smith Leong

Author Smith Leong

Your resident Sports, and NetFlix but no chill guy. Also blogs at www.smithankyou.com

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