35 Brutally Honest Thoughts People Have During Their First Thai Massage

By February 3, 2017Entertainment

TL;DR – Pain. Confusion. Comfort. All at once.

If you’ve never experienced a real authentic Thai massage before… Well, it is definitely a back-breaking, thought-provoking experience. Some people absolutely love the pain and some people really hate it. For all you first timers who are considering a trip down to your nearest massage place soon, this guide will probably be useful.

 1) Ahhh.. Everything smells so nice and calming. I am zen.

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2) Wait, what? What’s the robe for?? No one told me I had to strip?!

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3) Am I supposed to take off everything or keep my undergarments on? HELP!

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4) Brr.. Why is the room so cold!!

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5) Err.. now… what? Do I lie down and pose? Where’s the masseuse? Is she here yet? Nope!


6) Omg, she’s here! Quick! Shut your eyes!!

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7) Hope she doesn’t think that my feet stinks…

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8) Ahh.. that feels good… Nooo. OWWWWW *cringe* THATS.MY.NERVES!

9) She wants me to flip over…Okay try not to look like a dead seal..

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10) Oh goodness, she’s touching my back…

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11) I wonder if she can see my goosebumps popping up.. awkward…

12) She’s slathering so much oil on me now.. I feel like a slippery dolphin.

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13) Please don’t talk to me… Please don’t… Oh crap… *awkward laugh*

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14) Ow.. OW.. Ow… Didn’t know that this muscle existed!?

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15) This feels so weird…


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17) Omg.. I swear if she does this again.. I might accidentally kick her…

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18) Am I allowed to tell her it hurts? CAUSE. IT’S. SO. FREAKING. PAINFUL!!

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19) Must maintain the poker face I. AM NOT. A. WIMP.


20) OW… Fuuuuuuu!!!

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22) Omg.. I feel my dinner coming up.

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23) Keep breathing… *inhale* *exhale*

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24) What… is… she… doing?! Is she supposed to pull my hair?!

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25)  Isn’t this supposed to be relaxing?!

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27) Maybe I’ll try to count sheep… 1… 2…

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28) Ooh that feels nice.. YESSSSSSS. I could get used to this..

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29) What if… She was a secret spy and was going to snap my neck?!

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30) Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

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31) Omg.. why is one hour passing…. so… slowly!! *whines*



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33) *breathes heavily* Is it over???

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34) Do I have to lie and say it was awesome? *fake smile*

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35) Oh.. now they’re giving me hot tea to make up for that torture? Hah. Good try.

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Mel Tan

Author Mel Tan

Food & Travel Writer. I eat, dream & breathe food. Passionate about the South East Asian Cuisine & Culture.

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